The Ugliest Coffee Cake That There Ever Was

But it tasted good.

Yesterday I was expecting company.  My Aunt Sandy and Cousin Lori that I haven’t seen (except on facebook) for a very long time.  My husband suggested I make a “proper coffee cake.”  I thought it over, and initially decided to make scones, my aunt scoffed saying “it’s like you’re expecting royalty or something!”  I told her that family = royalty.   But then at the very last minute, I reconsidered and made a “proper coffee cake.”  I happened to use the America’s Test Kitchen baking cookbook recipe.  I made the Quick Coffee Cake.

Back in the day, when I was in Middle School, we actually had Home Economics class.  And I always will remember that coffee cake we made.  It was fluffy and the top was cinnamon-y and crunchy and it tasted like heaven on a plate.  It’s one of the most vivid memories I have of school.

I can’t post the recipe here, because that would be copyright infringement.  But what I can say, is that ATK is a TK for a reason.  (they know what they’re doing…)  They said “use 2-9″ round baking pans.”  But I didn’t use 2-9″ round baking pans.  Instead, I used 2-8″ round baking pans.  And they also specify to use all-purpose flour.  This is important.  I ran out of all-purpose flour, so I had to use 1 cup of bread flour.  I figured, “meh, it won’t hurt…it’s a kind of bread…right?”  WRONG.

See, I’m not sure if the culprit was the bread flour, or the pans, or the lackadaisical way I put baking powder and baking soda in … or probably more likely a combination of all three.

They started out pretty…

My company showed up just after I put the coffeecakes into the oven.  The kitchen smelled fantastic.  I was flitting back and forth, making coffee, tending to my guests, being a perfect little hostess (despite my potty mouth)  when I decided to check on the coffee cake.

I believe I made an audible gasp and almost dropped into a dead faint.  Then I burst into hysterical laughter.  My coffee cakes were sunken in the middle, and overflowing out the sides.  Thank goodness I had the foresight to put a cookie sheet under the pans.

Well, I went to plan B, which was sourdough and berries with goat cheese.  And a side of snickerdoodle cookies.  My guests laughed hysterically about it, told me I’d never live it down, I made some lame jokes about how this was going to end up on the blog, and finally took the dog and went downstairs to groom Brandy.

About halfway through, and after several attempts from Joey at getting Brandy off the grooming table (I think he had a bit of a crunch on her) my Aunt Sandy came down with Emmeline and told me that the coffee cake was wonderful.  Huh?

“You cut into it!?  Are you lying?  It really tasted good?”

“Yes!  It tasted wonderful!”

Well, ok there ya go.  I actually went up and had myself a piece after I was finished grooming Brandy, and I’ll be darned if it WASN’T good!  It was ugly, terribly ugly.  And messy.  But it was fabulous!  As you can see by the last photo, there was nothing left by the time I was able to take another photo.



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